Unbelievable Teckers

Technology is amazing.

The more I learn about it, the more I'm impressed. I've been lucky enough while I've been in London to get a much better look at some of the tech thats around at the moment. This is a collection of the things I've come across that I'd like to share:

Google Japan

This isn't really about the technology itself but the application of it. I think it's a really innovative and fun use of Google to launch the service in Japan, and really puts the imagination of Wieden + Kennedy on display.



Coca Cola iPhone App

I have some issues with Coke (I'm a human being after all) but this is about the app rather than them. It turns your iPhone into a snow globe. I love this! It's exactly the simple, festive and interactive app that makes me want an iPhone despite my lack of funds or necessity for one.

*Apologies for the video. It was the only one I could find that actually showed what the app is.



Google Tv

Google again. This is the direction that technology is heading- all combining to form one single platform. Google Tv combines the internet with Tv allowing you to use both simultaneously. You can search for shows and movies online and then watch them, all on your tv screen. Not sure which movie to watch? Look at the reviews before you start watching. It's the ultimate technological indulgence that will become standard before we know it.

Note to self: It's all progressing as I planned (Mwah aha ha ha).

Next I think it will consume social media and combine that world with media.



iButterfly

My personal favourite piece of technology I've found, even though it's only out in Japan at the moment. It's an iPhone app that combines GPS, motion sensors and augmented reality. The objective is to track, collect and trade virtual butterflies, each of which represents a coupon for a particular store in the area. You have to find a butterfly on the GPS map, mosey on down to it's location and then, using the camera, 'catch' the butterfly in your net. Each butterfly is beautifully designed according to it's location and it's one the few ideas recently that combine fun with function, helping to increase retail output in an uncertain Japanese economy.



Word Lens

Like iButterfly, Word Lens is an app for iPhone. Using the camera it automatically and instantly translates signs and other information on the screen. How useful is that? I have no real idea how it works but I think it's a real revelation in communications.

Because Winter Hates Rubbish Headlines

Little do many of you know but I have had an intense few weeks. I've been involved in a little thing called the 'Spring Project' (I'll talk about that later) and I've learned so much in it about myself and my career. One of those lessons is that I am a storyteller, without a doubt, which will probably take me down the copywriter route in advertising. I've alway had a suspicion but it's much clearer these days and that is what I'll focus on come 2011.

Now, copywriters are most famous for headlines. They do much more than that but that's the main preconception of the job description. I have done a bit of headlines, taglines etc and there is an art to it. The more you put in, the more you get out in terms of originality and creativity. If you look, for example at the Economist work by Abbot Mead Vickers, some of my favourite headline work, it is cunning and marvelous.

So when this spot rudely interrupted Soccer Saturday I felt part of myself die. It actually one the most poor and uninspiring lines I've ever seen. When I brainstorm a line, that sort of thing comes out, now and again, but it never occured to me that it was good enough for me, never mind for an actual campaign.

What a tragedy to advertising this is.

Teachers

I was wandering across the YouTube universe when I was directed to a video of Jennifer Love-Hewitt. I approached the video like I do most things in life- a quiet curiosity but wasn't expecting anything special. While watching however something unexpected happened- I learned something. Jennifer said something that really stuck with me. I'm not going to share what it was because that isn't the point. The point is that everyone can teach. There are opportunities to learn all around us, if we just take the time to listen.

The Balance Theory

Would you like to know one of the most commonly said phrases to me? "You can't eat pizza everyday Will".

Poppycock! While we're on the subject though I would like to say a thing or two. First, to those people who are trying to rain on my parade, trying to separate me from my delicious friends (How dare you!), I would like to point out that it's a bit harsh to will punishment upon me, when my only crime is, I haven't been punished. The area does arouse my interest though. I have always been a fan of behaviour, stories, and in this case, nonsense.

So, where do these stories come from and why does everyone believe them?

I've always thought that people believe in a fair and just world as a self-defense mechanism. Balance makes us feel safe- to think that if we are nice, people will be nice to us in return. If I get a parking ticket in a particular car park then, you should too. Most of the time these stories and information they relay goes against their own experiences. I guess that 'universe balance' theory makes them feel as if they have some control over their lives. Unfortunately, it's not balanced and they don't have control.

This world is full of chaos, randomness and frankly, nonsense. There is no balance, no rules. It can't be controlled. But why would you want to?

Not having control is a good thing. No control means there are no rules, and no rules means no limitations. The universe is boundless which (theoretically, at least) means we can do anything we want. We can achieve anything. It means that our realization of our own powerlessness walks hand in hand with an almighty, 'Fight Club' style, liberation. I would like to propose, that by accepting the universe as it is (instead of the stories you hear) and denying your own narcissism, it rather poetically gives you more power.

Of course, it is up to you to determine which belief structure you subscribe to, but I won't be attending any 'Pizzaholic Anonymous' meetings in the near future.

Bad Society

I've often admired people that go too far. They're more often than not trendy pioneers, leading the way for the rest of the generation. There are exceptions however...



This is too far. I like social media as much as the next guy but this is ridiculous. Why in the world would anyone buy these? I have no idea but I'm willing to bet that someone will. Goodbye, Society. I am disowning you!

My Welly Story

This is my application letter to DDB Grad Scheme. I assume I didn't get in because they have already had their interviews. Nevertheless, I am proud of my idea, I think it's good example of storytelling, has a natural flow to it and contains a valid message. Overall, I think it's a good piece of work that deserves to be seen.

Lessons from The Apprentice

Watching yesterday's 'The Apprentice' I was shocked. I saw a team of guys (who I'll call... Team Win) approach a task with minimal preparation, yet defeat the girls' team (who I'll rather candidly call Team Fail) who planned the task out extensively. The task was similar to a treasure hunt with each team asked to hunt down a list of unusual items including truffles and work top counters. Team Win split up the list and just went for it while Team Fail prepared their actions, with a sense of responsibility and professionalism you'd probably expect from businessmen/businesswomen.

For a while I've been an advocate of all things improvised and spontaneous, with an idea that it might work in business, but I'd never seen it. I'd certainly never seen it work. That changed tonight.

Team Win, won. Despite not gathering all the items (no doubt, due to their lack of planning) they were able to spend less than their counterparts and win this week.

What can we learn from Team Fail?

From a business point of view I think Team Fail failed because they lost sight of the objectives- a good reminder for all business and ad people reading. Objectives, objectives, objectives. Never forget why you are doing this project/assignment/campaign. It should be the rational behind every decision that you make.

It was a bit of a rookie mistake (you really hate to see it) especially considering these are these are supposed to be the 'brightest british business prospects' (cough,cough) but I think they were blinded by the penalties laid before them concerning completing the list in time. I feel that they failed to use fear the way it should be and yes, fear is useful. You can use it as a tool in business to motivate and focus yourself and others, ironically, you just can't let it scare you.

One area both teams failed was gathering the necessary knowledge resources. I would like to point out that I didn't see a single contestant using the internet, even Wikipedia. I consider learning the usefulness of Wikipedia to be a priceless lesson from university, not necessarily as a main source of information, but a good starting place at least. I'm sure those phone were equipped with web-browsing facilities. I don't know if the rules prohibited the use, but if not they've all got some explaining to do.

Neither team knew their products- I think that was the point of the exercise from Sugar's perspective, but at least Team Win had a good strategy for bargaining though. They didn't know their product but they adapted and developed a strategy for dealing with hagglers and getting the best deal (the objective, if you, like Team Fail, had forgotten). You have to commend Team Win for their adaptation. Probably accustomed to large scale business deals, they were able to adapt their language, adapt their behaviour, negotiate strongly and do whatever it took to get the sale, even making up stories about their brothers. upcoming weddings and forgotten exams.

That brings us to the real key to their success. Their adaption. Planning can only get you so far. I've alway believed that in business, and life in general, that instinct plays a much bigger part than anything planned. We have no real control over the things around us, so being able to adapt to what comes your way will always be important for success, no matter what field you are in. Obviously, I'm not saying don't plan anything because it can save you a lot of time and effort in the long run. My suggestion is that you don't let it dominate your thinking.

What I'm Thankful For

As most of you know it was Thanksgiving on Thursday and it's traditional to say what you are thankful for. Here's my list of the things I'm thankful for at the moment:

- My friends, family and everyone I love - blah, blah, blah.

- How I Met Your Mother (especially Neil Patrick Harris)

- South Pacific (the cocktail bar around the corner from my flat)

- Twitter and YouTube

- John Simmons

- Cheryl Cole

- FIFA (any year)

- Whiteboards and Markers

- Tesco Pizzas (3 for £5 - Bargain)

- My Super Jazzy Bed Sheets

- Match of the Day

The Boy and his First Hot Chocolate

Perhaps writing here was a bad idea- there's already a chocolate smudge on my page before any ink or words of wisdom land on the page. I'm sat in Starbucks, sipping down my hot chocolate, while trying to think straight with all this chit chat going on around me. I thought that this would be the kind of place to get some peace and quiet. Oh, how I was wrong. With the gift of hindsight that thought makes me chuckle a little bit (with sadness).

This wasn't the first 'Bucks' I've been in today. I'd say it's about the eighth. The first one I went in was busy, so I thought 'it's about lunchtime' so I wandered around Monday-afternoon London until I found the next one. Apparently they are all busy. I don't know where I got the idea that I could find peace in this place but I doubt it was based on anything I found in reality. Perhaps a dream? Probably some opportunistic residual 'Friends' memory I thought I had forgotten.

Anyways, I realized (disappointingly slowly) that it wasn't going to happen and I gave up peace in exchange for the caramel-hot chocolate I'd been craving since Starbucks number 1.

It was alright. Just alright.

It's the classic 'want-something-so-long-and-when-you-get-it-you're-disappointed' scenario. I am however enjoying creating brand new adjectives to describe just how chocolaty my hot chocolate is- chocolicious? choctacular? My personal favourite is supermegachocochoctastic- get that in scrabble and you have won, my friend.

I'm sharing my table with a blonde-haired chap with skinny jeans and the world's most colourful shirt. It's like he just returned from the world's most unsuccessful bout of paintball, ever. But it's actually quite jazzy and trendy and yes, I do want one. He's alternating between poking his nose into a tatty, dog-eared book and checking facebook for updates. I detect a hint of providence that we are sat at the same table. We seem to be the only people in this place who are being quiet.

There's not much else here worth mentioning. It's the quintessential cosmopolitan coffee house. The wall are all warm oranges accentuated with rich brown elements and mint green armchairs. There are photoboards of artists hanging everywhere, although I think I'm using the word 'artist', well, incorrectly because one board is Sharon Osbourne. Everything in here looks 'natural' which is ironic considering it's a replication used for a multinational corporation.

This afternoon I have noticed something about my writing- it has the tendancy to go off on tangents. It never goes A to B. It's always A to G, back to E, circle around that hippo thing there and then canoe the rest of the way to B. I've heard that the way you write is a reflection of the way I think, but it never really dawned on me until now. My writing, like me, somehow has a short attention span. I can't tell if that's my weakness or what makes me special. Either way, that's the closest thing to a lesson or a point this session will come. Aside from that consider it point-less, like hot chocolate, or Sharon Osbourne.

Bored

There's a word that's been on my mind a lot today - bored. It tends to be seen as a negative feeling but is it? Does it have to be seen like this?



Why can't it be seen like this?



Isn't that better?

My opinion is that bored should be redefined. It can be positive, perhaps even exciting, as contradictory as that sounds. Bored is an opportunity, it's a challenge. It's the interval between one memorable moment in life and the start of the next. It's a hunt for something interesting. The recognition that your current activities or lifestyle are not stimulating enough to warrant your full attention and effort. It is the availability of time, coupled with the desire to use it more productively. The motivation to change our lives for the better.

When you think about it, wouldn't the world be a better place if more people were bored?

Declaration of Intent

I talk too much about advertising. I don't like people in advertising who only talk about advertising but my posts have all been advertising, advertising, advertising. I can't even open a post without talking about it. It's what's on my mind but it isn't what this blog was for.

It was for all the things I find creative, inspirational and wonderful on this ride through life. It was to motivate me to go explore and wander until I found things that make my heart excited. It didn't have boundaries. It wasn't for anything. It was just a document of my hunt for beauty and eccentricity.

I got off course and wandered off, much like I do in real life so I'm going to try to somehow find my way back. Write about things that interest me. Advertising interests me but so does design, music, photography, technology, philosophy... pretty much everything.

This is a declaration of intent. To expand my horizons a bit. I am somewhat trapped in London, one of the richest cultural places to be so I am going to try to soak up a bit more and find some inspiration.

Christmas, Ads and Rock 'N' Roll

Not many people know this but I studied 'Music Placements' on television for my dissertation. The point was to determine if it was an appropriate method of promotion for music artists. However my study only looked at tv shows. It didn't look at adverts. I can't help but notice, a lot of the adverts today (literally- today) have popular music in them so, I thought it might be worth some pondering. I guess that happens when you watch as much tv as me.

Personally I think it works best when an independent, upcoming artist is used because their songs have a degree of flexibility with regard to their perception and understanding. They can be easily manipulated by the cinematography and imagery to depict a particular feeling or story.

This is my favourite at the moment. It's the new (and very early, in my opinion) christmas advert for Matalan. The spot features 'What I Wouldn't Do' by A Fine Frenzy in the background and it works so well. Its warm, it's natural and it's baked full of christmassy goodness. Alison Sudol's voice can only be described as beautiful, which only enhances the feel.



The same goes the BT 'Infinity' advert. The song in this is 'Corner' by Allie Moss. Similar music and feel.



In contrast, the ad for Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood is awful. Not just the music but the whole presentation just lacked that element of finesse that makes an advert shine. Tinie Tempah was a poor choice for it. It's a great game and good song but it doesn't fit and I think part of that is due to having a song that listeners have already heard an interpreted with their own meaning.



I personally would have used something like 'Koyaanisqatsi' by Philip Glass as it creates more of an epic atmosphere that Assassin's Creed deserves.

What If Advertising Sucks?

Everyone keeps telling me advertising is great...

"It's fun"

"It's creative"

"It's the best job in the world"

... but what if it's not? What if they are full of shit? What if they are so full of shit that they can't even smell what they are shoveling? I've heard lots of numbers being thrown around, "four years", "six months", "18 months" with regard to how long it takes to get into the industry.

That's a long fucking time.

How can a job in advertising (or any job for that matter) be worth that? I done some thinking and I currently have a theory- It's not. It's not worth it at all. It's possible. If we consider how human beings rationalise their own behaviour, it's very possible. Let's say the chain of events goes as follows: man decides he wants to go into advertising, studies at college/university for a few years, applies around for jobs for several months/years (perhaps working as an intern/on a placement) and finally gets the call they've been waiting for.

Now, that job, be it amazing, average or downright awful will still be perceived to be amazing. Regardless of the experience he will be blind to any drawbacks because his ego is tied to their position and the hard work it represents. God bless repression!

It has all the makings of some twisted psychological form of employment Stockholm syndrome. Like a child with an abusive parent that convinces themselves Daddy hits them "for their own good"

I must confess, that I am new to this game and haven't suffered much at all in terms of rejection, but I've done my research. I know what to expect. I can't imagine after 12 months, much short of spectacular would be worth my while yet I still want this career, this chase. There are much easier ways to go with easier success so why go for it? Maybe, I'm just stupid. Most humans are stupid most of the time and I am human most of the time.

My alternative theory is this. I want to take a chance, take a risk. I don't care if I get destroyed! Winning all the time makes it meaningless so winning once means everything. I hate playing it safe, because ultimately, reward is proportional to the risk we take to get it. By this logic, maybe, advertising actually could be worth it. Only one way to find out though.

London Photo Diary: Numero Uno

I should probably make more an intro for this but I think it mostly speaks for itself. I have a thing for interesting words and images (obviously!) so I've decided to start building myself a little collection, a small sample from the catalogue of life that is London City.

This is an electronic advertisement in Piccadilly Circus from McDonalds. It randomly chooses Rock, Paper and Scissors and people touring London play along with it (after staring at it in confusion for a while).



I really love words so I can't help but appreciate this is clever turn of phrase in the underground.



I went to an underground gym with a LOT of stairs with my housemate Mike. About halfway down there was this cheeky message on the wall.



The best thing ever to happen to a sheep? I'm not so sure...



Cutest, invasion, ever!



I love innocent. They are the most charming brand around at the moment I think. This says 'we love our orange juice because it tastes very, very good. But enough about that, heres a squirrel looking terrified.' How sweet!



I, I can't remember where I buried them

Finding Somewhere

'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to from here?'

"That depends a great deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat

'I don't care much where-'

'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat

'- so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.

'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the cat, 'if you can only walk long enough.'

I am once again delving into Wonderland but once again for a valid reason. You see, for all my research and education in marketing, advertising and communications in general I'm still not sure where I'm going. That is why I have kicked up my roots and shot down to London Town. My thinking being a lot easier to judge a landscape if you can see it. Makes sense right?

I have to say it feels good to be here. I'm filled with equal parts excitement and gut wrenching fear (Ok, maybe 40-60) but that's the healthy thing to aim for. I couldn't take sitting on the sidelines of Norfolk, watching everyone try and not give it a go myself. I went out for a few drinks last night to celebrate my new housemate's birthday (and on a sub-level, my arrival) and there was a bit of awkwardness when people asked me what I do:

Well I do advertising... well, not yet... but I want to do some... not like Mike (who does facebook ads etc)... but creative ideas and writing... and stuff... well kind of... so what do you do?

It, is, awful. I suppose the good thing from my point of view is that my overthinking mind already compared having a job I don't like but pays and being unemployed for a while until I get what I want and I stand by it's decision. Still, I have to say it will be made painful by the fact that my current social circle consists of almost exclusively economists and bankers. Still I think it will work in the long run... I think.

So from here on out, it will just be me, my boots and this road without any signposts. As I don't know where I'm going I have the luxury of being unable to take the wrong path - as long as I get somewhere.

Hope

I'm big fan of storytelling, most of all, the way heroes and villains are so frequently portrayed so obviously. The good guy, usually dressed in white defeats the black evil doer and world peace follows.

Right. That's great. Good for them.

Sometimes, however, stories manipulate the truth and bad guys can be portrayed as good. I would like to expose one of these sheeps for the wolf that it is. My target is a little thing most of you have heard of called hope.

Hope is not good. It is not your friend. Hope is a wolf, and it will betray you when it starts to get hungry.

Let's use an example. Lets use Max, the cab driver from the movie 'Collateral'. For those of you of who haven't seen it, Max is a cab driver who dreams of owning his own limo company (there's a part where an assassin by the name of Tom Cruise gets in his back seat but that is irrelevant for this point). He has plans and ideas formulating in his head, talks the talk and walks... oh wait, he doesn't 'walk'.

Do you know why? I'll tell you.

Hope.

He hopes it will happen. He hopes one day his dream will come. With a pinch of irony, the hope we have for something often paralyses us against making it happen. Hope leads to fear that our dreams won't come true, or be as good. Most of the time people would rather hang on to the hope they have for something than actually try because trying means the image they have in their heads will have to be destroyed.

It's such a shame because hope is meaningless. Actions count! I understand the comfort hope can bring but unless you try to achieve what you want hope gathers more value than it deserves and becomes a hinderance.

I'm not saying this to be cruel. I'm saying it to give you the motivation to actually chase your dreams and desires. Hopefully at least (I couldn't resist!)

Heaven on Earth

Heaven and hell suppose two distinct species of men, the good and the bad.
But the greatest part of mankind float betwixt vice and virtue.
David Hume

The new trailer for Devil May Cry 5 is reigniting my love for the series. The mythology and story are so rich that it's easy to delve completely into it's world. One my favourite ideas is the outside-in view of mankind portrayed. To me, it feels like seeing the backstage area of the world.

I think that it's our downfalls and weaknesses are what make us special so, once the veil of romanticism is lifted off of mankind it's true beauty can show through.

Thoughts on 'The Hood'

I recently reread 'Little Red Riding Hood' and I have some thoughts.

Firstly the protagonist, Red Riding Hood. How disappointing she is and certainly not the brightest light bulb in the house if she can't tell the difference between her grandmother and a four-legged, carnivorous canine. Maybe she should be going to school instead of having picnics in the wood?

As for the wolf. Well foremost, he's a WOLF! People always seems surprised or disappointed when he tries to eat people. Why? That what wolves do. Would people be surprised to get stung by a bee or wet from the sea? No! Let's give him some kudos for taking a more sophisticated, strategy all be it not in the most flattering manner.

I do however feel sorry for Grandma, the poor, neglected old lady. I would like to point out though that the wolf getting into her house was the result of negligence on her part, be it, from leaving a window open or answering the door to a wolf so we get an idea of where Little Red gets her wits from.

I want to rectify the Lumberjack myth as well. He's not a hero. He's a murderer of the smartest wolf on record and (depending on which version of Riding Hood you subscribe to) possibly a pedophile.

Here At Reading

Frankly, the lateness of this post is an outrage but I was struck by 'Reading Flu' for the week and a bit after the festival so it got put on the shelf.

This is just some clever ideas I noticed during the festival that I thought were worth sharing.




This is for 'bollocks to poverty' campaign to raise awareness. They were giving out temporary tattoos and had a photobooth, a tent with ping pong and foosball table. I like it that the charity adapted it's approach for the festival and got people interested using fun. I will believe in the power of fun over guilt when it comes to charity.



How trendy are these? They not only look cool but you can attach it to your ipod and play music out of the speakers. I'm a guy so I can't wear it but I still think that's amazingly clever.



This looks good too but that's not why it's here. Have you read it? It's quite possibly the best I have ever heard a bacon bap sound. Seeing this 'the morning after' was irresistable. Unfortunately, afterwards you realize it's still just a bacon bap.



This is just something that caught my eye. I have only seen the atticus bird upside down. I think it's some form of artistic side emerging, noticing how different things can look when you look at them from a new perspective.



Finally, how about a moment of sympathy for the poor chump who had to film from the top of this enormous crane. Poor little guy!

Why Being A Billionaire Would Suck

Travie McCoy wants to be a billionaire (so frickin' bad) and I like to play devil's advocate. What better motivation to write a new post?

This isn't just a passing thought. This has been on my mind for a while. It's one of those random things you discuss that everyone seems to have the same opinion on- Yes I would like to be rich. Why?

My first thought is that we associate more with better, so more money means a better life. Not being a fan of groundless rationalities I would like to present some reasons why being a billionaire would suck.

1. Value
All the way down to our subconscious mind we create values for products based on what they cost. That's why when you eat food from the mini bar it tastes 'better' just because we are paying more. Continuing this line of thought, if you were a billionaire even the most expensive meal would be nothing but pocket change meaning, it would taste like a dog's back on a hot day.

2. Snobs
No-one likes them but the transformation into 'snobdom' is unavoidable like sunlight, the aging process or people putting mayonnaise in your sandwich.

3. Work
The simple truth is no billionaire works 9-5. They are either CEO of multinational corporations, in which case they work all, the, time, or, they're playboys who never really work (they may call themselves socialites). This means either

a) you never see your friends
b) you sit around all day like an old maid, staring to the horizon, waiting for your friends to finish work.

Lame.

4. Trust
Everyone has trust issues. Imagine what would happen if you had a billion reasons for someone to betray you. How would that feel? You wouldn't trust anyone. Boo Hoo. Much worse than your insecurities is the very real possibility that you are not being paranoid at all. You better believe if there was the possibility of gaining a few million dollars commission, assassins will be lining up left, right and centre to unleash their AK47 at your Armani covered ass.

5. No Restrictions
Not completely unrelated to the first point I suppose but from the other side. We love chocolate because we can't have it. Cigarettes are desirable (to some (other) people) because they are wrong. We love things that are stupid and ultimately lead to our demise. BIllionaires have no such area. Want to raft down a waterfall of Mediterranean budgies? Easy. Want a playstation 3 that cooks your breakfast with lasers? It is made. There are no limits and with that comes a world with no desire.

So there you have it. A few select reasonings why you are better the way you are. So please, next time you drool over the thought of super wealth, remember how lucky you are to be a broke loser nobody wants to be.

Imagination Vs Reality

I've been having some extra time on my hands lately so I decided to update my music video repertoire and try to find a music video that was original or witty or in anyway different from the rest of the pack.

I failed.

Everything that I saw looked the same to me, or like something done before. Rapper walking through ghetto with bikini clad ladies; Rock band playing to overenthusiastic crowd; and Neyo, stop stealing from Michael Jackson, PLEASE!



However, my efforts were not completely wasted. I stumbled onto this beauty on Kerrang and it caught my attention for one simple reason. If a movie was made about my life, or me (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, hollywood) then this is how the protagonist, me, would see the world. Half reality, half fantasy and both sides barely distinguishable from each other and forming one abstract visual. I love it when life is interrupted by imagination coming in and crashing the party. It doesn't call and make an appointment, it just shows up uninvited and chaos ensues.

I've always thoughts that's how it should be, with both elements at the same time. Reality is not entertainment. I don't see the purpose of watching something that could happen in real life, or worse, that commonly happens, he said shaking his head at the thought of 'big brother'. On the other hand fantasy works much better on it's own but still not as good as the team like chocolate and caramel. They both taste good alone but together they are a force to be reckoned with. Yum. What was I talking about again?

Inside Me

In search of inspiration I decided to look inside myself, see what I find and well... ta-da!!!



There is something fantastically backwards about drawing words.

What came first?

It's an ancient question, which came first the chicken or the egg?





Let me give you the 411

I like Magner's cider. It's yummy! I also like their ad where people catch things and dive around in a puppet like fashion.

In contrast, I don't like Bulmers cider. It's not a pleasant taste to me. Too sweet. Coincidently I also don't like their ad with summer in their shed or factory or whatever that is.

I'm not a fan of coincidence so... there be 3 explanations by my eye.

1. I like the cider based on whether I like their ads in which case, kneel before advertising lowly peasants. Mwah ha ha ha!

2. I like ads based on the cider (This is more likely as I seem to remember making my decisions about said ciders before I'd seen any advertising about them). Back in your box, advertising!

3. I judge both aforementioned ciders and ads independently of the others based on my own reasonings. This can't be true. Can it?

Poor Puma

I feel sorry for Puma.

They are a decent brand and they make some quality sneakers. I personally own a pair of banana yellow running shoes I've owned since college and still have not retired to the bench. However, in recent times they've had their metaphorical asses handed to them by Nike and Adidas who, as far as I'm concerned, own the sports shoe industry.

With that in mind Puma have tried to differentiate themselves as the alternative sportswear brand but I simply can not see it working. A snowball has a better chance of becoming the Pope of Hell. You see, for all their marketing research into new areas and careful positioning and market opportunity evaluation they have forgotten something rather important.

This spot is designed to appeal to who people are. Not who they want to be.

Hello? Most people are rubbish at most things but thats not how they see themselves especially when it comes to sport. Everyone secretly believes, in the darkest corner of their mind that if they wanted to they could be as good as Ronaldo, Federer and all the others who are ACTUALLY good at sports. We all need to feel as though we are special, talented, a unique snowflake. Thats why people buy that latest pair of boots. 'Thats what professionals use' their subconscious whispers to them, pining over the new Adidas F50's.

Unfortunately even those who realize their limitations will also go out and buy the Nike T60 Pro Magic Shoot Blasters as well to close the gap on the competition.

You'd have thought they would have figured this out.

It's a shame because they didn't really have much choice in terms of image. Their bigger, stronger brothers are such powerful opponents that they didn't have a chance attacking them head-on. Trying to pinch a piece of the premium athlete brand pie would be tougher than trying to steal a piece of actual pie from a fat guy in a fortress.

It's too bad really because as an ad it's entertaining and interesting. The copy comparing Jo Average with athletes is witty and is guaranteed to get a smirk off the bloke down the Hog and Rooster on Friday night. The characters are recognizable and all-in-all the spot presents the brand in a positive light for the future.

I hope it does provides them some success but let's just say I don't see them needing a snowball-sized Pope hat anytime soon.

Capes for Cabbages

It's time for a change!

We humans have been kept safe on our busy city streets for years now by a powerful force. A force dedicated to protecting the innocent and making this world a better place to live. I'm talking, of course, about VEGEHEROES!

But now they need us.

Being a supervegetable is a full time commitment preventing them from gaining full-time employment. Consequently more and more of them are unable to afford uniforms.

Without uniforms our leafy warriors lose most of their power to strike fear into the hearts of evil and, not to mention, lose most of their trendiness.

Of all the heroes, the most in need is the humble cabbage. The cabbage's shy public demeanor means that it is often overlooked by potential donors in favour of more attention grabbing produce: the cantankerous radish is a prime example of this, never mind the rambunctious leeks and the (let's face it, over) flirtatious celery. Dont forget, these cabbages dedicate themselves too. Being a vegehero is not a popularity contest. It's serious.

They don't want a hand out. All they ask is the donation of any cloth, thread or fairy dust you can spare, so they can continue to protect us all from darkness.

Every day these hero herbs and greeneries give us their all. Isn't it time we gave something back?

A Widdle

If two Will's are better than one, is Will Wills better than two Wills' because Will Wills has two Wills' in one?

The Latest Addition to My "Crib"

Not many people know this but I have an imaginary house that I'm going to buy/build when I become rich. It has an indoor bouncy castle room, a music studio/event arena and on the walls of my enormous bedroom is wallpaper created from a comic I designed. Thank you, that IS a wonderful idea! I know! I began thinking about this when I used to watch MTV cribs as a youngster and somehow it's all blossomed into being one step away from me drawing up blueprints and getting estimates.*

Recently I have added a new feature to the crib. Musical Stairs! I want them, I want them NOW!

While my crib is inspired, this idea is genius!

A lot of you will probably have seen this already (since it happened ages ago) but in case you travelled here from the past, or recently feel into a long hole and have only just escaped, I thought I'd share it with you.

This is one of the ideas from the fun theory. It's a project from Volkswagon trying to encourage better choices through the addition of fun. There is a whole load of ideas so have a look if you want a giggle or inspiration for something creative you're doing.

http://www.thefuntheory.com/

All of the ideas I've seen so are so ingenious that I am hulk green with envy yet simultaneously inspired. This is the kind of thing I love to see.

Love <3 Love <3 Love

Imagination meets Good Deeds makes Happiness. That's my kind of threesome.


* Please note, I am poor and will probably never own my "crib" so no calls from architects/estate agents/golddiggers please!

Thank You Hugo!

This was actually the first time I have come across Sienna Miller. Thank you, Hugo!

There's something natural about this ad. It doesn't say 'glamorous' to me. It says 'fun' or 'jump' or other word with connotations of energy. To me it seems to have a completely different feel to other fragrance pieces featuring size zero models strutting down hallways with a gaze you'd probably see on a spider when a fly bounces into it's web. It's much more natural and warm. Overall if it were a girl, she'd be interesting and fun and personally much more appealing.

I think its great that this perfume brand took a different direction than the others. Without going into too much detail and revealing my extensive knowledge of perfume adds (It was for research, I promise) it's nice to see a cosmetic that would make a woman feel good to have instead feeling bad they didn't have it, if that makes any sense. In our facebook driven, image obsessed culture I for one have noticed a decline in self esteem which I think is a tragic shame considering how beautiful everyone is. Hopefully this would do a little bit to counteract that. Thank you again Hugo!

Two Guys At A Party

How delightful is this?



How dry and humdrum is this?

It got me thinking. They cars are pretty much the same, they are both Ford cars. Despite this one makes me smile with private joy and the other makes me want to dig a hole within myself and hide.

It's kind of like people. Imagine you're at a party. You've had a few drinks and you start mingling with people outside your usually circle. You meet a new guy. His name is Smax. He wears trendy clothes with billabong on the shoulder and talks a lot about the tv shows he's watched recently about extreme sports. He's a fake, he's a poser, he's boring.

You leave him as soon as you think of an adequate excuse.

Later, at another gathering, you try again and run into a guy called Fiesta. He's stopping by the festivities on his way back from an adventure in some foreign land. He tells you the charming tale of how a few drinks turned into his spontaneous weekend in LA with his similarly interesting friends.

In advertising, like most other communications and interactions, it is better to show rather than say. Fiesta is interesting because his life is interesting not because he knows the definition of interesting and can relay that information on to me. Equally Smax with his sports attire doesn't convince anyone that he'd survive on a surfboard, even on dry land. The fact that he's pretending means he doesn't have anything interesting to say which may be tied to my increased concern over my dog's laryngitis. The punchline is, be interesting but be who you are.

Soccer Saturday Report

I have to say that as far as adverts go, for me, the best ones are always on Saturday. Here are my favourites from this weekend

Paddy Power




I think sometimes it's not the message that matters; it's the messenger and Paddy have made an excellent choice of spokesperson.

Heineken



I am yet to meet anyone who doesn't at least grin at the sight of this. Kudos to Heineken for identifying such a universal truth and making it work really well.

Welcome to the Grind

So, I'm just gonna shoot this straight out there.

I DON'T LIKE MY JOB.

I don't feel too superior for the job. I don't think I'm not getting paid enough for the job, but there is something missing. There is no.... It has no... It's boring! Not just regular boring, It's uber boring; super boring, annoyingly tentative, exhaustingly dry, make-you-wanna-light-yourself-on-fire DULL.

I suppose I should quit but then I'd be a quitter, and I don't like quitters. In fact no-one does. We, and by we, I mean human beings and movie-goers, are genetically programmed to like those who triumph against all odds, defeat their foes and achieve all manners of glory, traditionally after some tragic twist about an hour in.

But then again, if I dont quit I'll probably be miserable. I can't do miserable. My whole identity is created on the sole idea that I am positive, lucky and generally happy. In addition to this I'm not sure quitting would make me happy. Unemployment means moneyless which very quickly moves into bored and presumably miserable. So there's something to be thankful for. Capital reward to drown out the dying whimpers of dreams once held.

Of, course, I'm being dramatic. Very, in fact. I'm bringing levels of drama, the likes of which broadway has never seen. This is all due to the fact that London adventures await me soon and all that stands between me and the big smoke is four more weeks of meaningless, average and mundane.

OK, so rant over. Feel free to find laughter from my nonsensical ramblings. All I hope for is that this isn't used as evidence for the prosecution or read by anyone I work with. I'd probably get fired, and I have all my 'baby-mommas' to pay. Well not yet, but according to the internal profile I've constructed of my race and gender, based on american chat shows... it's only a matter of time.

Hello Ladies

I want this man's voice. It's so impressive! This guy probably has more testosterone than Arnold Schwarzenegger's gym locker.

Lez Zups

I like puzzles.

Puzzles add spice. They make life interesting.

Puzzles are your mind's momentary dip of it's toe into a pool of megalomania.

They are this:



Where is Roy Walker when you need him?

Did you get it? I hope so. It's relatively easy. Did you get that glimpse of electricity when the idea clicked. For that split second you were a genius and a god with no equal. Did you blurt out 'Ha" or intend to but the word didn't quite percolate in time? It's a wonderful feeling.

Here, today, on this green Earth, I hope you remember that 'Ha'. I hope you remember the thrill you got from figuring that out, accepting the challenge and seek out questions for your mind to solve. Personally I find people are often a good place start, particularly when it comes to irrationality. Figure out why people walk on paths instead of the quicker route across the grass, why ask how you are even while they are clearly uninterested. Whatever your particular taste in puzzles, engage them and let them power and entertain you. Remember you're not making problems, you're finding solutions.

Feel free to start with this anagram. If you get this, you have earned yourself a massive cookie.

HA HA! VIPEROUS COMMITTEE

I like old movies...

Awwwwww...

Isn't this advert sweet?

It's so warm and wonderful. It's rare that I can hear a story of love without feeling bitter or lonely but this is the equivalent of a sunrise over a summer meadow... it's inspiring... and hopeful... and making me feel far too feminine and flowery.

Where's my DVD of Die Hard?

Everyone wants to be like Mike

My little tribute to Michael Jackson.

(By the way, isn't his outfit very Vince Noir?!?!)

Why do we fall?

Can I just say, this has been a rubbish weekend. My friend Spiddy here really illustrates this.

I am on the precipice of insomnia from work to the point where adventures have taken a back seat a good nights' rest. Then, when I drag myself out, I am witness to the slaughter (you know which one). That, by the way, was the second national side of mine to be knocked out in the space of less than 24 hours. Like a swift hammer blow to the underside of the testicles. I'll need a minute.

However, everything has a positive side. Right? Well, let's try to find some reasons why this weekend is good news for my life.

Nerves

Now England are out, the anxiety finally stops. No more nervous, nail biting hours of staring at the screen, no more worrying that Rooney might go shopping for an umbrella or iguana, fall off the pavement and hurt himself on a mislaid anvil. It's over. We are free. Free to worry about things actually matter. Like... the weather.

Poppycock

This weekend is the end of completely rubbish england-related flim flam. No more songs pretending to be patriotic to climb through the charts (dizzee rascal, i'm talking to you), no more adverts claiming pizza is someway linked to athletes. I'm sorry. They are all lies. No more lies.

Pubhangers

No more hanging out with pubhangers. You know who pubhangers are. Put simply, these are people who own several football strips and obviously don't take part in any actual sports. I dislike these people. Especially in enclosed spaces, in desert heat listening to them remix a nursary song as a chant simply by replacing all the words with England. Well done. I'll bet that's what Beethoven wished he had thought of when he heard it in heaven.

Neutrality

I can enjoy watching football much more as a neutral observer. I know that's a weird perspective on a sport but I prefer watching as a neutral observer. It ruins it, especially if I lose. When I watch England I subconsciously transform into their star striker and (usually) suffer the following disappointment at missed opportunities and defeat.

Philosophy

There are some ideas that I have always maintained about life. It is chaos, mayhem that should be thanked every morning for not destroying us. We don't get what we deserve. We get what we get. This weekends' event reminded me that life can be mean, thus leading me to appreciate the days that are warm, generous or otherwise pleasant.

Like always a crisis is an opportunity. An opportunity for me (and everyone for that matter) to be strong. To get back up onto the proverbial swing and start again from scratch. To dust ourselves down and remind ourselves that failure is the best way to learn.

I wouldn't feel right if I didn't include a quote from a movie so I'll end with a quote from Batman Begins. "Why do we fall master Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up again." Remember that England.

Gallop Mary, Gallop!

I LOVE THIS. It is utter nonsense but it always brings a smirk about my person. Not a proper smile. It's much more sneaky than that. A ninja expression, swiftly and stealthily avoiding my armed guards and laser defenses using silent acrobatics and military precession.

Kudos Mary! You're officially my favourite cow.

Carpet Dookie

It actually pains me to post this advert on my blog but it has raised an issue that I would like to talk (rant) about. Go, Compare! (like a lot of companies in the financial/insurance sector) have resorted to pure, rampant irritation in an attempt to grab my attention. Shame on you! Shame!!! Make me think, make me cry, scare me, make me laugh (all it takes is a monkey and a top hat for God's sake). Don't annoy me. I have the power of Sky Plus. I'll fast forward your oversized, opera face out of existence.

Mwah ha aha ha ha!!!

I do wonder how such things enter my digital space. Along the way of going from creative idea to finished product did no-one think "that's a terrible idea". Yes, they did. But here's the secret: Annoying is good, for sales anyway. Annoying makes it memorable so when people need insurance or whatever Go, Compare! springs to their mind. However, these sales tend to be temporary and more importantly, brands are not just about recall.

Here is where I tell you an elaborate little story nicely bringing to wise words like it's a well written american drama. When I was about 12 years old I was around my friend Ian's house playing mariokart on his brand new N64 (wow, so many years ago). We were cruising around one of the various circuits when Ian's little brother, Andrew, came tottering into the room. He sat behind us for a while but soon got bored and wandered out of the room. Halfway through our next race, in amongst the brightly coloured anarchy, me and Ian sensed something and synchronized a look of surprise and confusion.

"What the...?"

Innocent little Andrew had left a steamy turd, right in the middle of the floor.

"......................"

Gross. And hilarious, but mostly gross. Ian's poor mum had to come in and clean up all of Andrew's hard work. To this day I remember that experience which brings me to my point. I remember Andrew from this experience and probably always will but he will always the guy that took a crap on the carpet. No matter what happens. Thats how I will always think of him. Is that how a company wants to be perceived? Irritation is all I will ever feel in the first seconds of Go, Compare! before I skip it and continue watching House.

Annoying as it is I have found a silver lining in my personal life. I have a new found appreciation for good creative, for all the work that has brought a smile to my face and inspired me to use my imagination while there's not some sales incentive or jerk in a neck-tie and buttoned up shirt instructing me to ignore it.

We all have dreams...

Apparently there's a football tournament going down this summer? It's called the world trophy or something like that.

Of course, I am talking about the world cup. Unless you're a genie and your cave-dwelling, magic lamp doesn't have a tv you will have at least some knowledge of this whether you want it or not.

Television has gone insane to the point where I (a fairly enthusiastic football fan) am beginning to lose interest before the first game kicks off. Of particular annoyingness is the sudden (and predictable) barrage of football related ads. What exactly does a supermarket have to do with sport at all? I'm sorry but I find that about as believable and coherent as a drunk puppy with a top hat trying to convince me that someone else pissed on my carpet. It's not going to happen.

Thanks heavens then for Nike. Their blockbuster of a television advert is just what I needed to get back in the spirit of the competition. 'Write the future' is simply amazing. I know some people in the ad industry don't like it, saying it glamourizes footballers, doesn't' focus on the product and suffers from severe overproduction. Now, I don't like to criticize others. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I both love and respect them. However, these people are morons and here's why.

There is no man who plays football, owns FIFA on one of the various games consoles or has seen a picture of a football in his life who watched Rooney and co for 3 minutes and didn't instantly go hunting for the nearest football or spherical object within the vicinity. It has such an emotional appeal, pumping testosterone through the veins of male population nationwide, fuelling dreams of one day, someday, striding out onto the evergreen lawns of Wembley. Is that not the reaction every football boot manufacturer dreams of?

What nonsense I'm talking

In case you were unaware that quotation is a line from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. I recently read it and started thinking about things, in particular thinking. I've been thinking a lot lately. Probably too much. The fact that I am evaluating my pondering tendencies increases the likelihood of this being an accurate suspicion. I do not begrudge the thinking process or myself for using it however, I am concerned about the the effect this may have on my life. You see, traditionally thinkers aren't doers. I like doers, mostly because they do. While doers are doing, thinkers are busy thinking about doing and talkers like to talk about doing. Neither of them however realize that they are so engaged with their respective majors that they aren't actually getting anything done.

This is where Alice can enlighten us all. You see, Alice, is a doer. She sees the rabbit and follows him straight down the rabbit hole immediately. Once she gets there she discovers some form of potion and (pausing only to make sure "poison" isn't written on the the bottle) drinks it. Throughout the novel she stumbles from the irrational to the insane and keeps moving (slightly recklessly but still, impressive).

Isn't that a delightful philosophy for life? To engage with nonsense, perhaps even enjoy it. To dive into our own 'rabbit-holes' and relish the adventures that ensue. I can't personally think of a time when I have been impulsive and regretted my decision to do so.

This brings me rather smoothly to why I'm starting this blog thing. I've thought about it for a while, some of my friends have them and I know it would almost certainly be useful to pour my soul out over a few lines every once in a while BUT never actually started one. So, here it is. My jump into the rabbit hole completely unaware of what is next and proof that for today at least, I am a doer.