Poor Puma

I feel sorry for Puma.

They are a decent brand and they make some quality sneakers. I personally own a pair of banana yellow running shoes I've owned since college and still have not retired to the bench. However, in recent times they've had their metaphorical asses handed to them by Nike and Adidas who, as far as I'm concerned, own the sports shoe industry.

With that in mind Puma have tried to differentiate themselves as the alternative sportswear brand but I simply can not see it working. A snowball has a better chance of becoming the Pope of Hell. You see, for all their marketing research into new areas and careful positioning and market opportunity evaluation they have forgotten something rather important.

This spot is designed to appeal to who people are. Not who they want to be.

Hello? Most people are rubbish at most things but thats not how they see themselves especially when it comes to sport. Everyone secretly believes, in the darkest corner of their mind that if they wanted to they could be as good as Ronaldo, Federer and all the others who are ACTUALLY good at sports. We all need to feel as though we are special, talented, a unique snowflake. Thats why people buy that latest pair of boots. 'Thats what professionals use' their subconscious whispers to them, pining over the new Adidas F50's.

Unfortunately even those who realize their limitations will also go out and buy the Nike T60 Pro Magic Shoot Blasters as well to close the gap on the competition.

You'd have thought they would have figured this out.

It's a shame because they didn't really have much choice in terms of image. Their bigger, stronger brothers are such powerful opponents that they didn't have a chance attacking them head-on. Trying to pinch a piece of the premium athlete brand pie would be tougher than trying to steal a piece of actual pie from a fat guy in a fortress.

It's too bad really because as an ad it's entertaining and interesting. The copy comparing Jo Average with athletes is witty and is guaranteed to get a smirk off the bloke down the Hog and Rooster on Friday night. The characters are recognizable and all-in-all the spot presents the brand in a positive light for the future.

I hope it does provides them some success but let's just say I don't see them needing a snowball-sized Pope hat anytime soon.

Capes for Cabbages

It's time for a change!

We humans have been kept safe on our busy city streets for years now by a powerful force. A force dedicated to protecting the innocent and making this world a better place to live. I'm talking, of course, about VEGEHEROES!

But now they need us.

Being a supervegetable is a full time commitment preventing them from gaining full-time employment. Consequently more and more of them are unable to afford uniforms.

Without uniforms our leafy warriors lose most of their power to strike fear into the hearts of evil and, not to mention, lose most of their trendiness.

Of all the heroes, the most in need is the humble cabbage. The cabbage's shy public demeanor means that it is often overlooked by potential donors in favour of more attention grabbing produce: the cantankerous radish is a prime example of this, never mind the rambunctious leeks and the (let's face it, over) flirtatious celery. Dont forget, these cabbages dedicate themselves too. Being a vegehero is not a popularity contest. It's serious.

They don't want a hand out. All they ask is the donation of any cloth, thread or fairy dust you can spare, so they can continue to protect us all from darkness.

Every day these hero herbs and greeneries give us their all. Isn't it time we gave something back?

A Widdle

If two Will's are better than one, is Will Wills better than two Wills' because Will Wills has two Wills' in one?

The Latest Addition to My "Crib"

Not many people know this but I have an imaginary house that I'm going to buy/build when I become rich. It has an indoor bouncy castle room, a music studio/event arena and on the walls of my enormous bedroom is wallpaper created from a comic I designed. Thank you, that IS a wonderful idea! I know! I began thinking about this when I used to watch MTV cribs as a youngster and somehow it's all blossomed into being one step away from me drawing up blueprints and getting estimates.*

Recently I have added a new feature to the crib. Musical Stairs! I want them, I want them NOW!

While my crib is inspired, this idea is genius!

A lot of you will probably have seen this already (since it happened ages ago) but in case you travelled here from the past, or recently feel into a long hole and have only just escaped, I thought I'd share it with you.

This is one of the ideas from the fun theory. It's a project from Volkswagon trying to encourage better choices through the addition of fun. There is a whole load of ideas so have a look if you want a giggle or inspiration for something creative you're doing.

http://www.thefuntheory.com/

All of the ideas I've seen so are so ingenious that I am hulk green with envy yet simultaneously inspired. This is the kind of thing I love to see.

Love <3 Love <3 Love

Imagination meets Good Deeds makes Happiness. That's my kind of threesome.


* Please note, I am poor and will probably never own my "crib" so no calls from architects/estate agents/golddiggers please!

Thank You Hugo!

This was actually the first time I have come across Sienna Miller. Thank you, Hugo!

There's something natural about this ad. It doesn't say 'glamorous' to me. It says 'fun' or 'jump' or other word with connotations of energy. To me it seems to have a completely different feel to other fragrance pieces featuring size zero models strutting down hallways with a gaze you'd probably see on a spider when a fly bounces into it's web. It's much more natural and warm. Overall if it were a girl, she'd be interesting and fun and personally much more appealing.

I think its great that this perfume brand took a different direction than the others. Without going into too much detail and revealing my extensive knowledge of perfume adds (It was for research, I promise) it's nice to see a cosmetic that would make a woman feel good to have instead feeling bad they didn't have it, if that makes any sense. In our facebook driven, image obsessed culture I for one have noticed a decline in self esteem which I think is a tragic shame considering how beautiful everyone is. Hopefully this would do a little bit to counteract that. Thank you again Hugo!

Two Guys At A Party

How delightful is this?



How dry and humdrum is this?

It got me thinking. They cars are pretty much the same, they are both Ford cars. Despite this one makes me smile with private joy and the other makes me want to dig a hole within myself and hide.

It's kind of like people. Imagine you're at a party. You've had a few drinks and you start mingling with people outside your usually circle. You meet a new guy. His name is Smax. He wears trendy clothes with billabong on the shoulder and talks a lot about the tv shows he's watched recently about extreme sports. He's a fake, he's a poser, he's boring.

You leave him as soon as you think of an adequate excuse.

Later, at another gathering, you try again and run into a guy called Fiesta. He's stopping by the festivities on his way back from an adventure in some foreign land. He tells you the charming tale of how a few drinks turned into his spontaneous weekend in LA with his similarly interesting friends.

In advertising, like most other communications and interactions, it is better to show rather than say. Fiesta is interesting because his life is interesting not because he knows the definition of interesting and can relay that information on to me. Equally Smax with his sports attire doesn't convince anyone that he'd survive on a surfboard, even on dry land. The fact that he's pretending means he doesn't have anything interesting to say which may be tied to my increased concern over my dog's laryngitis. The punchline is, be interesting but be who you are.

Soccer Saturday Report

I have to say that as far as adverts go, for me, the best ones are always on Saturday. Here are my favourites from this weekend

Paddy Power




I think sometimes it's not the message that matters; it's the messenger and Paddy have made an excellent choice of spokesperson.

Heineken



I am yet to meet anyone who doesn't at least grin at the sight of this. Kudos to Heineken for identifying such a universal truth and making it work really well.

Welcome to the Grind

So, I'm just gonna shoot this straight out there.

I DON'T LIKE MY JOB.

I don't feel too superior for the job. I don't think I'm not getting paid enough for the job, but there is something missing. There is no.... It has no... It's boring! Not just regular boring, It's uber boring; super boring, annoyingly tentative, exhaustingly dry, make-you-wanna-light-yourself-on-fire DULL.

I suppose I should quit but then I'd be a quitter, and I don't like quitters. In fact no-one does. We, and by we, I mean human beings and movie-goers, are genetically programmed to like those who triumph against all odds, defeat their foes and achieve all manners of glory, traditionally after some tragic twist about an hour in.

But then again, if I dont quit I'll probably be miserable. I can't do miserable. My whole identity is created on the sole idea that I am positive, lucky and generally happy. In addition to this I'm not sure quitting would make me happy. Unemployment means moneyless which very quickly moves into bored and presumably miserable. So there's something to be thankful for. Capital reward to drown out the dying whimpers of dreams once held.

Of, course, I'm being dramatic. Very, in fact. I'm bringing levels of drama, the likes of which broadway has never seen. This is all due to the fact that London adventures await me soon and all that stands between me and the big smoke is four more weeks of meaningless, average and mundane.

OK, so rant over. Feel free to find laughter from my nonsensical ramblings. All I hope for is that this isn't used as evidence for the prosecution or read by anyone I work with. I'd probably get fired, and I have all my 'baby-mommas' to pay. Well not yet, but according to the internal profile I've constructed of my race and gender, based on american chat shows... it's only a matter of time.

Hello Ladies

I want this man's voice. It's so impressive! This guy probably has more testosterone than Arnold Schwarzenegger's gym locker.

Lez Zups

I like puzzles.

Puzzles add spice. They make life interesting.

Puzzles are your mind's momentary dip of it's toe into a pool of megalomania.

They are this:



Where is Roy Walker when you need him?

Did you get it? I hope so. It's relatively easy. Did you get that glimpse of electricity when the idea clicked. For that split second you were a genius and a god with no equal. Did you blurt out 'Ha" or intend to but the word didn't quite percolate in time? It's a wonderful feeling.

Here, today, on this green Earth, I hope you remember that 'Ha'. I hope you remember the thrill you got from figuring that out, accepting the challenge and seek out questions for your mind to solve. Personally I find people are often a good place start, particularly when it comes to irrationality. Figure out why people walk on paths instead of the quicker route across the grass, why ask how you are even while they are clearly uninterested. Whatever your particular taste in puzzles, engage them and let them power and entertain you. Remember you're not making problems, you're finding solutions.

Feel free to start with this anagram. If you get this, you have earned yourself a massive cookie.

HA HA! VIPEROUS COMMITTEE